Anger is an innate defense mechanism in human nature. From the moment they are born, individuals react physically and psychologically to situations that disturb them. Anger is one of them. Individuals who have this emotion from the moment they are born show their reactions by crying or waving their hands and arms, since they do not have the ability to express themselves during their infancy. In advancing ages, however, they begin to express their anger both physically and verbally. In addition, the reactions they show at a young age can be seen in the form of tantrums. Even though the reactions given by crying, breaking things or similar are considered normal in age at the first stages, after a certain stage, they can reach dimensions that will interrupt their lives. If the anger control problem that occurs in childhood cannot be detected, it will make individuals problematic in their social lives in their future lives.
So how can you tell if children have anger control problems?
- If your child has tantrums 3 or more times a day, if these tantrums exceed 15 minutes,
- If tantrums continue even though he/she is 4 years old,
- If your child is hurting himself and his environment during tantrums, your child may have problems with anger control.
What are the causes of anger control problems in children?
The causes of anger control problems in children can be attributed to different reasons. Such situations should be determined by the families in an appropriate way and solutions should be produced accordingly. The reasons for anger control problems in children can be listed as follows:
- Individuals who develop rapidly since infancy do not know exactly how to discharge the energy accumulated in their bodies during this period. For this reason, they may show their accumulated energy in the form of anger, as a result of which they may try to throw away their energy by shouting, crying or hurting themselves and others.
- Private problems in the family are another reason for anger control problems in children. In other words, unpleasant situations between parents or other adults in the home directly affect the child. Due to the tension he sees in his mother or father, the child may experience this tension in the same way, and this may cause uneasiness in himself as a result.
- Violence, this method that many families resort to in order to educate their children, which is absolutely wrong, does not reduce the aggressive attitudes of the children. On the contrary, it definitely causes an increase. The family's use of violence against the child or the observance of violence between the parents directly affect the child negatively and may also cause anger control problems.
- Television shows, online games and Youtube videos. Almost all of these are media tools that children can easily access from infancy. However, the majority of families do not know how much time their child spends with them, or they use it themselves to restrain the child. Television programs, unfortunately, have become live demonstrations of violence today. From TV series to cartoons, there are violent objects or subjects that are not suitable for children's ages on many platforms. The child's subconscious is directly affected by these objects and causes it to settle in his behavior. Since almost all of the online games involve violence, they affect children in the same way. In addition, since online games allow people who do not know each other to talk, they can expose your child to threats that reach the level of swearing, insults and even harassment. This affects the child's emotions, causing him to experience anger more than necessary. On the other hand, Youtube videos that are not suitable for the child's age or that push him to try dangerous things are another cause of anger management problems.
How Should Anger Control Issue in Children Be Solved?
It is useful to know in advance that parents should be aware of the situation their children are in. That is, they must carefully observe the child's behavior and perceive it thoroughly. Then, they should come up with a solution as decisively and calmly as possible. So how should the angry child be approached?
- First of all, as we mentioned above, the cause of the problem should be clearly understood. If your child is throwing tantrums because he can't find a way to drain his energy, show him a way to release his energy. For example, if he knows how to paint and write, you can get him to express himself by writing. In addition, by making him interested in a sport, you can both spend his time efficiently during the day and discharge his excess energy.
- You can encourage sports branches or games, especially in groups. In this way, your child not only learns what it means to win and lose, but also becomes aware of his sense of responsibility.
- Resolve family problems urgently and definitively. Every shout between the parents, problems such as violence and harming the environment directly affect the child. In other words, if you want your child to be protected from his anger, you must first be self-restrained. In addition, the biggest mistake of families who have problems in the family is to pamper the child so that they will not be affected by this situation and to fulfill every request immediately, which is one of the biggest mistakes made. Every request that will be fulfilled just so that the child does not deserve to be affected, just so that he does not have tantrums, will only serve to lay the groundwork for the next tantrum.
- When a child has a tantrum, using violence comes after big mistakes. Responding to aggressive attitudes in the same way will not relieve the child's anger, on the contrary, it will cause bigger crises in the future by suppressing it.
- When the child has a tantrum; For example, he asked for a food or a toy in the market and you cannot buy it at that time. You should say no to such situations and explain the reason. If the tantrum continues, you definitely need to maintain your determination without compromising yourself. If you compromise, the same event will happen again and again.
- You should check the TV shows and videos he watches. You should prevent him from watching programs that are violent or not appropriate for his age. You should follow the online games he plays, and if there are people he does not know, you should prevent him from talking. However, you should not resort to violence, scolding or aggressive attitudes during this time. You must explain your reasons and be strictly disciplined. However, you should not resort to violence, scolding or aggressive attitudes during this time. You must explain your reasons and be strictly disciplined.
When to contact a Specialist?
If you do not know what to do when your child has tantrums or you cannot keep your anger under control, you should consult a specialist and apply the right therapy methods. If your child is over 4 years old, you should consult a specialist. Hyperactivity problem, which is one of the other causes of anger control problem, may be present in your child. In this case, a specialist doctor will show you the most accurate treatment methods.