When to Get Help for Children's Anger
Do you sometimes find your child spitting fire?
Does your child get very angry when they don't get what they want?
Does he start to cry out loud at some moments and throw his hands?
Everyone can get angry sometimes, and just like any other emotion, anger is a normal part of children's lives. your child; When his friend takes his toys without permission, he may get angry. He may get angry at his teacher if he has so much homework that it takes hours to finish. When you don't keep a promise you make, he may get angry with you. Anger alone is not good or bad. The important thing is to know what to do with this strong emotion.
What is Anger?
As we explained in our article titled Anger Management, anger is one of our most basic human emotions. feeling of anger; It occurs as a normal reaction in many different situations such as frustration, frustration, strain, helplessness, and injustice. The same is true for children. Even very young children seem to experience feelings of anger, and as children grow, their anger grows.
What Makes Children Angry?
There are many things that make children angry. children; They may feel anger when things don't turn out the way they want, when they have trouble doing their homework, or when their favorite team is defeated. They may get angry with their friends when their friends make fun of them or don't play with them. They may become angry when promises are not kept or fair rules are not followed. Sometimes they may even blame you for things you didn't do. When they are told “No”, they may become angry when they do not get what they want. While they are playing games on their own, they may become angry due to weakness when they cannot do something.
Why Does Anger Occur in Children?
In young children, some world-management skills are not yet sufficiently developed; this can lead to them being restricted and feeling tense. The helplessness and inadequacy felt in situations such as not being able to pick up the toy that fell behind the seat or reach the shelf that one wants can trigger anger in young children.
Children who develop a desire for independence want to be able to choose and control certain things. In this direction, they may want to do things alone, go somewhere by themselves, wear the clothes they choose, play when they want, and sleep when they want. When parents do not allow these wishes to come true, children may feel anger because of the frustration they experience.
Encountering difficult situations, increased responsibilities and problems in peer relationships, compared to their cognitive skills in primary school years, can cause intense anger in children. Having trouble following or understanding lessons and having to do homework instead of playing games can provoke anger in primary school children. In addition, retaliatory anger is prominent in children at this age. Children can feel intense anger when their friends don't play with them, take their stuff without permission, or when someone calls them names or makes fun of them.
In adolescents, hormonal changes can lead to mood swings and anger. In addition, adolescence; It is a period in which young people face many changes and difficulties, question who they are and where they belong, and the stress created by this period can contribute to children's feelings of anger. In adolescents; Anger against authority is common. Especially in this period, there is a difference between the genders in terms of the expression of anger. While young girls usually express their anger verbally, young men mostly express it in ways that can be considered physically aggressive. It is seen that some adolescents try to express their anger with resentment.
Is My Child's Anger Related to His Personality or Some Ailments?
Some of the children's experience of anger may be due to their personality traits and temperament. Some people tend to experience certain emotions more intensely and frequently. Anger is also a common emotion in some ailments. The majority of children with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder have difficulty in controlling their behavior due to their impulsiveness; Having to follow directions or do something else can cause them to feel anger. Children who seem angry may sometimes have an implicit anxiety disorder and/or intensity that cannot be noticed at first glance. Children who have intense anxieties and have difficulty coping with them may feel anger.
In addition, anger is an emotion that can be learned in some ways. How role models behave in the face of difficult emotions and how they deal with these situations can affect how children feel anger in which situations.
Is My Child's Anger Normal?
Remember that anger is a normal emotion; What matters is not whether your child is angry or not, but how he or she experiences this anger. If your child has trouble controlling his anger and shows aggressive behavior, this can cause problems.
My Child's Anger Is Worrying Me. How Do I Know If I Should Do Something About My Child's Anger?
If your child is having trouble stifling his own anger and
If the tantrums and outbursts are unexpected for their age
Temper tantrums and outbursts are frequent and prolonged
Angry behaviors and difficulty controlling them make him or her feel sad
His angry behavior risks harming himself or those around him.
If their angry behavior is causing problems at home and negatively affecting your family life
If his angry behavior prevents him from getting along with his friends, causes him to be ostracized by his peers
If their angry behavior causes problems at school or attracts the attention of teachers
We recommend that you consult a child psychologist/pedagogue regarding this issue.